Taking things a day at a time

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Checkmate, Bitch

How can I win at a game when no one plays fair?
She is a cheater.
She is a liar.
She is a schemer.
And I am the dreamer, dreaming of a new life,
a better life, a life without the shackles of her control gripping at my wrists and ankles.

A stanza of a poem I wrote back in May. Guess who I'm talking about.

Song of the day:
"Drop Baby Drop" by Ka`au Crater Boys

Tonight and tomorrow night Kristine and I are closing by ourselves. We're the two new trainees, so it's kinda exciting, but at the same time, I'm hoping nothing happens and we can handle the shift. I still don't know how to work the gift card stuff, so hopefully if that happens, Kristine will know what to do.

I got a key for the gate on Monday. :) It's a bigass key! A lot bigger than normal keys, so when Cheryl gave it to me I was kinda caught off guard by it. And I also have to remember to take the slip of paper with the number for the fax that we have to send out each night to the main office downtown.

Wishes Wednesday:
1. I wish I was at Linfield going to school.
2. I wish I wasn't living at home with my mother.
3. I wish it wasn't so expensive to live here in Hawai`i.
4. I wish my mom didn't take my money.

If you couldn't tell, I'm back to my normal mother-hating self right now. In addition to the four hundred bucks my mom takes from me (the child support money) she also wants me to give her money from my paychecks. Because apparently jacking all eight hundred she gets between me and Mika ISN'T enough.

Fuck her.

So. Since I'm refusing to give her my paycheck, these things may happen in the very near future. And by near, I mean today or tomorrow:
-We lose the internet connection.
-We lose the cable.
-She stops driving me to school/work.
-I get kicked out of the house.

Her threats are always amusing. Take the driving me to school/work threat. Last night while she was bitching, she had the nerve to actually bring this up. I believe her exact words were, "You don't even give me money for gas! I'm the fucking chauffeur in this house!" And shit, I had to SERIOUSLY restrain myself from talking back to her. I wanted to tell her so bad that driving us around was the ONLY thing she's good for anymore. It's true. She doesn't work. She does nothing all day. She has no friends. She has no hobbies. She lives a rather pathetic life. So the least she could do is drive us to and from places.

ESPECIALLY since she refused to let me take drivers ed in high school. ESPECIALLY because she made me wait until I was 18 to get my fucking permit. ESPECIALLY because she doesn't take me out to practice driving. So, yes, she's right, she is the fucking chauffeur in this house, but that's only because she's made it that way. Because without another driver in the house, she knows that she'll be needed for that.

Now, the last one is my mother's favorite threat in the world. She says it all the time, to both me and Mika, but she has yet to seriously follow up on it. She can get as pissed off and bitch at us as much as she wants, but the truth is that she can't have either one of us move out. Because if we do, she's out four hundred dollars a month. And since she doesn't get off her lazy fucking ass to work, she'll really have no money to take from anyone. Then what would happen?

I would move...somewhere, possibly with my dad. And then I would laugh at my mother. I would laugh hard. :)


Blogger Alessa said...

Wow... that's sucks balls.

So, how come you don't just move and go live with your dad? Just curious... Because that sounds like it would be better than your current, sucky situation.

Either way, I really really hope things improve. I wish there was something I could do...

Also, I miss you. And thanks for letting me know how to post a video. What you said made sense, so I can figure it out. Thanks!

September 2, 2009 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger Bryan said...

Zaida! i feel special to be in your blog title! Sorry i haven't posted a lot lately. And sorry your mom is such a cuntburger, no offense. I understand the drama of family, let me tell you...
Washington Square Park is in Greenwich...right near NYU. i don't know the street names, but i know how to get there.
There are swings in Central Park??!!! i love swings. i'll have to find them next time.

Hm...you said something else too that i was going to respond to, but i don't remember. But I miss you too!

September 3, 2009 at 7:22 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home