Taking things a day at a time

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"I'm staying up all night hoping"

What you got boy is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried
I just can't get you off my mind

Curse you Ke$ha and your catchy, and timely appropriate songs!!! For reals. This song I've quoted is from "Your Love Is My Drug" and I've lost track of how many times I've listened to it just today! This one part of the song is absolutely perfect for how I feel about the guy I still like and the situation at hand. I still haven't decided if I'm going on Saturday, however, I am leaning more towards the GOING side.

JAMIKA, I was literally listening to Ke$ha's "Take It Off" when I was reading your comment about how you were listening to Ke$ha. XP So cosmic, ko`u hoaaloha (my friend).

ALESSA, would it help if I put the translations??!! :P I can do that if ya want. Hehe.

Also, okay. So I got Alessa's FB message about helping out with Janet's play. And, at first I was kinda excited while I was reading through the message. But then, I slowly got kinda bummed, and eventually to that "they're doing this and I should be there for it, fuck." point. I mean, I understood Janet was going to do her Hawaiian-themed Comedy of Errors, that was already set. But now it'd be really helpful if I were to get pictures and whatnot of Waikiki and the area; it would really help the show and their preparation for it. I get that. And I'm willing to, don't get me wrong Alessa.

But. It's shitty because I'm here, collecting photos and information to send up to Linfield, so everyone else can have this great show, that I, more than anyone in the theatre department, should be in. And I know, that sounds absolutely selfish and rude and bitchy. But. Fuck. The play has a Hawaiian element to the goddamn adaptation! I'm pretty sure I may be the only Hawaiian that was in the Linfield Theatre Department. I can't be in it, obviously. I can't even see the frickin play because I can't fly up there! If I knew how...bland (no offense) A Doll's House was going to be, I would've skipped visiting in November and saved the money to visit to see The Comedy of Errors! But there is no flipping way I can scrounge up enough to go see the show (because I'm trying to save money for Alessa's wedding), and that's what hurts the most. I'm fine helping out, I really am. I'm down for getting pictures and giving info on whatever's needed; I've got an advantage after all. ;) But. Not being able to see how the show will come together, how people will perform it, all of that, that's what's so lame.

Bah. Sorry for going off. Ignore me, I'm being an ass.

Anyways. Talk To Me Tuesday is actually a mixture of topics. I'll either focus on a conversation I've had with someone and talk about what I discussed with that person. Basically tell you about what we said. But it won't just be any kind of conversation, you know? One with a moral/meaning/realization/inspirational though, etc. OR I will feature a quote that I like and give my thoughts about it, what it means and who it's directed for, and ask you guys what you think of it.

So for today I'll do a quote.

Talk To Me Tuesday
"That's what life is: repetitive routines. It's a matter of finding the balance between deviating from those patterns and knowing when to repeat them."
-Joseph Gordon-Levitt

JGL is one of the actors that I admire and respect the most. He has such creative integrity and I can't help but acknowledge that, along with his remarkable performance talents. That aside, he gave a great quote I read this past fall that really stuck out to me. For the entire 2009 year while I was home, things became ridiculous, falling into this routine that I absolutely hated: school, home, argue with mom, vent, be angry/school, home, argue with mom, be mad, go to work, get more mad, stay angry. This shitty vortex I've been stuck in for over a year was really getting to me, because nothing was changing in my life since I'd been home. It was the same, surrounded by people I couldn't stand, in bad environments, without anything constructive to do.

That's when I started writing a lot, writing something every day, in fact. And once I started catching the bus, I gained that freedom to venture out and go places, to do things I wasn't allowed to do before. JGL makes such a good point about making sure that there are things in our daily routines that balance each other, so we don't get stuck in a rut, like what I had been doing, or rather not doing, for a year. Basic routines will always remain, like school and work, every day, all the time. But then there are little things we can do in between to keep us relaxed and sane. Do you guys agree? Or am I just talking fluff?

Back to Hawaiian, with basically everyone from last semester, minus about 5 or 6 people, then plus 4 new students to the class. It's also a lot better now that TC and Misty have class Tues/Thurs so I can hang with them after I'm done. And my coworker Stacey, I get to see her every Tues/Thurs morning; we've decided we'll have breakfast together and just chill. Although, I still say I'm not getting much done as far as school goes. I feel like I'm wasting time. BUT WHATEVER. Just deal with it, right? Right.

OH! So. Sean-Joseph is going to be directing a scene for this festival at LCC. It's on FEBRUARY 5 AND 6 at the LCC Theatre, and he's asked me to be Kinsey in this scene, "The Spring." What's great is that I'M the one who found the script for him!! Haha. For real. I emailed him 3 scripts over the weekend because he didn't have anything! And it's literally in 3 week. Yeah. Typical Sean, but, can't help that. I just really hope he's serious and he gets his friend to do this scene with me. I'm crossing my fingers that this'll really happen, because I want to be back on stage again so bad! You have absolutely NO idea how it's killed me, this whole year, not being in theatre. No idea.

Hmm. It's technically the 13th now, but I'm still keeping my Talk To Me Tuesday. Oh, so this means I can say HAU`OLI LA HANAU KUNI!!! :) <3

Song of the day: "Easy For You" by Billy Gilman

2 Comments:

Blogger Alessa said...

Z,

You can post the translations... that would be cool to know what it says. I love languages... not to speak, but to read or to listen to. So, I always get excited when you post something in Hawaiian. It feels like it's a secret to me :)

And, I figured you would feel that way about getting information for you. I was pretty crushed when I heard they were doing a hawaiian based production. You really should be in it. And she isn't even sure if we are going to have ANY body who is Hawaiian in the show. And I really really really appreciate you getting me information. I am super grateful. But, it sucks big sweaty man balls that you can't be here for it. But, I am also pretty excited I get to work with you for the show. I feel important having you on the inside for me ;). I completely agree with everything you said though. And you aren't being an ass... I so agree and I am pretty sure everyone else does too. We have all been screwed over in the theatre department. And even though NONE of us know what you are going through... we support how you feel.

And I AM SUPER EXCITED to hear you are saving up for my wedding!!! AHHHH! I think we may need to get some people in on this and try to help you out again. That would be the best wedding present ever if you could come! Hmm... may be a way to get people to help you come, say it's a wedding present for me ;)

Your new themes are cool. I like the quote. He is pretty insightful. I just watched 500 days of summer the other day... he is so talented. I see why you admire him so much.

Break a leg with the scene. I hope it works out and you can do it.

Well, I hope you have a decent weekend and you have fun at the party thing... I can't wait to hear updates on that. Have fun! Oh, I am going snowboarding this weekend. I will be thinking of you! I will let you know what it's like. It will probably kick my butt...

January 14, 2010 at 5:22 PM  
Blogger J. Cordelia said...

I feel like we're constantly doing extremely similar (if not the same) things at the same time...it's eerie.

I agree with Alessa, it's understandable for you to fee the way you feel. When you feel like (or when you know) that you should be somewhere, but you're not, it hurts. It's kind of like graduation last May. I didn't go because I should have been graduating, too. Your situation is different, of course, but you know what I mean.

I wish there was some way for you to be up here. Not just for the show, but for school and so we could see you on a daily basis :) And, also, because I know it's where you want to be.

That quote from JGL is great. He looked adorable at the Critics' Choice Awards tonight. I only saw him for a moment, but it was worth it. He's such a classy guy, and so talented I can hardly stand it, haha.

I get a lot of my inspiration from quotes of people I admire. I love making "Inspiration Collages". Sounds super corny, but they're really nice to have hanging around your desk (or where ever you do your creative-type work). I made one last year that had writing quotes and artsy pictures. It was great.

But yeah, I completely agree with the quote. If I didn't write for myself--in my journal, blog or a creative essay of sorts--I would have gone crazy. Even though most of my classes were writing, sometimes it drains you and stops being fun. So yeah, I agree, we have to balance it out. Sometimes that means just sitting down and watching TV after class/work. I love just having some quiet time to offset the time I spend with others.

I hope the scene works out for you, and when it does, I want you to break all kinds of legs :)

--

I never answered one of your comments. So, yes, I have listened to the CDs you gave me and they're awesome. I didn't realize I hadn't mentioned that to you, haha.

I love Bowling for Soup as well! Their songs are so much fun.

I'm glad you enjoyed my reading, haha. I tried to keep it short so it didn't get boring. Yeah, and if you get a chance to buy the book, it's worth it. Such a great read.

Haha, "pants". Sometimes the verification words are ridiculous. Sometimes they sound like something you'd read in a Harry Potter book.

I use Windows Movie Maker to edit the videos. It came with my computer. It's extremely basic and sometimes a pain in the ass, but it gets the job done, so I can't complain too much.

Anyway, I've gone on long enough.

January 15, 2010 at 11:38 PM  

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