HOLY SMOKES BRYAN!!!

This is the first time I've heard from you in a loooooong time, Bryan. I've missed you.

Song of the day: "Fields of Gold" by Sting and The Police

Not sure if I ever mentioned this before, but every day when I turn my laptop on, I put my songs on shuffle and whatever song plays first, that'll be my "song of the day." I've always organized my songs my artist, but from now on when I put it on shuffle, I'll start setting it by songs, because I think that's more legit when you shuffle your songs.

I had a test in Hawaiian today, so last night I studied the whole chapter. But I found out that I only needed to study a list of vocab words, so I kinda was an overachiever for today. :P But at least I got all correct on it. Chee!

I've decided to start doing three different/new things with my posts.
1. Start writing properly, at least with capitalizing "I" and the first letter the sentences and the rest of that grammar stuff. Only because I think I've reached a point where spelling everything lower case in my posts has kinda passed.
2. I'm gonna put up what my Song of the day is at the beginning or end of every post.
3. After seeing a similar list, I decided I'm going to start making "_______ (insert day of the week)" lists. Such as today's list is:

Movies I Want to Watch Monday
1. Zoolander (I think I've been wanting to watch this all summer, but I don't own it and I haven't found it anywhere I've looked. Not even Walmart has it.)
2. Dogma (for about 3 weeks, actually)
3. Remember the Daze (a 2007? movie that's basically like Dazed and Confused)
4. Jesus Christ Superstar (mostly because Amanda was singing lines from the song a few days ago and we were talking about it.)

Speaking of Amanda, she left this morning. :( Sad day. And she's going back to L.A. and all those fires. No bueno. Chelsea's also happily in Iowa, I'm assuming. Those lucky dudettes are still at the school they wanna be at. I'm jealous. *sigh* But, can't do anything about it right now. Or ever. Meh.

I saw my friend Bowe today at school! I was walking out to where mom picks us up, and I saw Bowe walking in front of me, then he went in his class so I called him on his phone and he came out and we talked for a little. I thought he was going to UH this semester but he decided to just stay on this side. At least he saves on gas. But that was a nice surprise. :)

I didn't get to finish my drawing of the flower I was suppose to do for my art class before I left for work. I tried to draw a puakenikeni, but I don't think it really came out the way I saw it in my head. Plus, we're suppose to make an "interesting" background, but I don't know what to do. At first I wanted to put it in a koa bowl, but then blending the different browns would be too hard for me. I'm not that talented. All through work I was trying to think of what I could do. I've been home for over an hour and I STILL don't know what to do. Fuck.

Tonight at work, Heather wanted to listen to Kelly Clarkson. Mind you it was MY ipod that was hooked up. So she listened to whatever Kelly Clarkson songs I had, which was maybe, four? So then I switched it back to the songs I was listening to. A couple minutes later Heather walked over to the ipod, saw the song, looked over at me, and I know she wanted to change it. So I said to her, "Yes, I am listening to this song." And she got all pissy and said to me, "Why do you always change the songs I'm listening to?!"

I fucking wanted to slap that bitch. Okay, she's not really a bitch. Just a dumb slut, for real. But I was uber mad at her, because she, just like Nathan, ALWAYSSS changes the music if it's not something she likes or knows. ALLLLL THE FUCKING TIME! One: she had already listened to all the Kelly Clarkson songs. Two: it's MY ipod, bitch. And three: Fuck off!

So number three isn't really a reason, but you get the gist of it. This seriously pissed me off for the rest of the night.

And yes, Jamika, I really do always text you when I'm at work. :P I don't know why, but you're always the first person I automatically think of texting. Even though you're couple hours ahead of me. Strange.

HOWEVER. However. Heather's friend Emma was working tonight at Coldstone and she gave us free ice cream. :) I got a Love It cup of Mint Chocolate Chip. Mmm, yum. So I guess Heather was awesome for that one reason tonight.

Oh. And anyone see that new music video for Boys Like Girls new single, "Love Drunk" that just came out? Yeah. Wellllll, it's one catchy-ass song. For real. Like most of their stuff. But they got fuckin Ashley Tisdale to be in it?! What the fucking fuck? I'm real pissed about that. No, not really pissed, just annoyed. Because she, like all these other Hollyweird bitches do that same pouty-full-lips-half-ass-seduction-"ooh-I'm-so-hot"-faces. And I fucking wanna take a meat cleaver and slice their face off.

...That sounds pretty twisted and wrong, doesn't it? Whatever. *shrugs* It's what I wanna do to them. Anyways, I better go try and finish the oil pastel. And well, fuck the reading I was suppose to do. I'm NOT reading over 100 pages tonight. No.

PEACE.

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret"

Last night I played Rock Band for the first time, and "Dirty Little Secret" was one of the songs I played. I only played the drums, which is a lot easier than the guitar. That's for sure.

The first week of school was tiring. I got way too cozy with going to school for only two days last semester. So now going four days is just, real tiring. I also dropped math, so I only have two classes, again. It's a waste, I admit it. Because I'm barely getting any credits out of the way. But seriously, that math class was so lame. Fractions?! I still can't get over that. Hopefully I'll place into math 100 when I retake the placement test.

From my two classes, I kinda have a lot of homework to do this weekend. For Hawaiian we have a test on Monday already, with a shitload of vocab words and phrases we need to know. Also, we have to memorize this dialogue piece and we have to say it in front of the class with a partner. Then for art we gotta read two chapters and then draw a flower with oil pastels. That's gonna take a while, just because I'm finicky with my art. And oil pastels get real messy. :/ No bueno.

I'm thinking of rearranging my room. Partially because I'm thinking about what I would be doing if I was returning to Linfield. I'd be moving into my dorm/apartment right about now and getting situated and settling in. I fucking miss that. God. So I kinda wanna do that with my room, change things up a bit. It's been the same way since I moved into my current room, which was sophomore year of high school.

I just love furniture and decor stuff. I mean, don't you? It's exciting. Looking around at new stuff, decorating your walls and buying matching sets of sheets and stuff. Then organizing. OH, ORGANIZINGGG!! I LOVE IT! Just for fun, I went looking at some furniture sites and found pictures of pieces and room designs I like.


I like the bookshelf around the head of the bed.


This is a pretty cool vanity set.


All the shelf space is awesome in this bedroom design. I have a lot of stuff.


If I could have this exact bedroom set up, I would take it. It's also got purple in the color scheme. Bonus!

But of course, no money, no space. At the very least I want to paint my walls. But I'd have to put the primer on the wall. Then put the coats of pain on. I mean, it'd be worth it in the long run, but it's expensive. And I'd have to find the time to do that.

Meh. Anyways, I'm off to the Greek Festival. Kinda pissed because mom wanted Mika and me to wait until Steven was done with work so they could go. Like I fucking care. I would've been fine catching the bus, but noooooo. We had to wait for that douche bag. And I KNOW that they're gonna expect my dad to pay for them. Assholes. Whatev.

GYROS!!! HERE I COME!

Summer ends, school begins

So I've had all my classes and I think it's gonna be a challenging year. Yesterday I just had Hawaiian 101, and today I had Hawaiian, Intro to Visual Art, and Math 73. It's strange that I have 4 days of school now, instead of 2 like last semester. It sucks major balls.

Hawaiian: I'm surprised I know 5 people in my class. Sam and Beth (Amanda's twin sisters), Kalsie (old classmate from elementary school's younger sister; half of a set of twins), Joni ('06 grad from KS) and Kili (Wayland's sister). Hopefully this class goes well. I'm really not a language person, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this one will be enjoyable and I'll get through it.

Art: Since when were students punctual?! I swear, I got to class maybe 8 minutes early, and there were only 3 open seats! Everyone was there, which I thought was odd. So I had to sit in the front row. But that doesn't matter since I'll pick another seat on Thursday. Hehe. It's basically gonna be like Art History in high school.

Math: FUCK MATH. Today we did fractions. FRACTIONS! God I seriously hate that I'm in math 73. This is gonna suck, because we'll be doing things that we did in middle school. Goddamn. And I mean, at least I won't be struggling too hard with it, but at the same time, I'm wasting a whole semester's time AND the money I had to pay for this class. >_<

Oh, and there was this kid in my math class, who was clearly from Australia. His accent made me giggle inside. :) Why do Americans love accents? Because we're lame and don't have the cool ones. But I think he's switching to another section so I can't laugh and enjoy his accent. So sad. He handed a sheet of paper to this kid that was sitting in back of me and said, "Cheers, mate." I had look down at my paper because I was smiling too big, on the verge of teehee-ing.

I'm just concerned with how i'm going to handle this semester. With a language class that'll be a struggle, with math that I'm probably gonna be bored in, and art which calls for a lot of out of class time, it's gonna be a lot less cruise compared to last semester. I have classes 4 days a week instead of 2. And I'm working during the week. So this is gonna be rather stressful. :/

Also, I saw my old classmate's younger brother. It was really strange, because he looks exactly like his sister - my old friend - but since I haven't seen him since he was, like, 9-years old, I was super shocked to see him. He's so grown up! Man, it makes me real nostalgic. And the Ryan (that's their last name) family has always been a good looking family. It's funny because Cheynna was SUPER tomboyish in elementary school. She'd whoop all the boy's asses at anything during recess; dodgeball, tetherball, basketball, she was on the track team and owned. But then in high school, she turned SUPER girly. Now she models and is basically one of those hipster kids, you know? As far as fashion goes, I'd say she's a hipster, but more alternative and junk. Anyways, she was always pretty, even when she was covered in red dirt. She'd wear her hair in a low ponytail and wear her brother's clothes all the time. Now she's very...femine.

Anyways, her two younger brothers look just like her and they're all good looking. Christian used to be chubby, but I guess he got rid of all that baby-fat and now he's pretty damn attractive. I was sort surprised that when I saw him today, he was kinda...all by himself. I saw him walking around before class started, and he was walking by himself, and I didn't see him once fiddle with his cell phone, which is what most kids walking by themselves do, y'know? Then in between another class, we were sitting in the same area for a long time, and he seriously just kept to himself. No friends sat next to him and he didn't once touch his phone, again. I don't know, I guess I expected him to be real social and stuff. Granted, his friends probably just weren't there today or something. But I have to admit, he looked lonely. I mean, he looked lonely, in his face. It was kinda...sad.

But, moving on. So have you guys heard of The Lake? Probably not; it's an online webseries show thing done by the WB. If you Google "The Lake WB" you'll get the site that the videos are at. I got a free episode on iTunes which is how I know about it. It's basically about these teenagers that spend the summer at this lake on the east coast. It's got a typical plot and scenarios, but since I watched the first episode I can't help but go online and watch the rest. Don't you hate when that happens?! I do. Haha. But I mean, the show's all right. Although each "episode" is only about 10 minutes, and each Monday they post 4 "episodes" so you basically get a regular, full-length episode each week, like a normal tv show. Anyways, if you have nothing to do and don't mind generic summertime teenage storylines, check it out.

At work yesterday, Heather's boyfriend broke up with her. He called her and then she broke down and cried and I didn't really know what to do. This is the SECOND time that the girl I was working with got dumped during our shift. First time was Ka`ena a couple weeks ago. I text Jamika about it, and I told her I really didn't know what to do. I don't know them all that well, you know? So, it was slightly awkward. Okay, more than slightly. But thankfully it happened close to closing time. It made me wonder, though, if/when I ever have a boyfriend, and we break up, what am I gonna do and how will I react to it. I thought about it for a while last night. And I guess I can't really predict what will happen. Ha. Even if it'll happen.

And since I'm on the subject, I'm saying this again: I HATE it when my friends tell me, "don't worry, you'll find someone eventually" or some other bullshit like that. Like, "You're so adorable, Zaida. Guys don't know what they're missing" and "Don't feel bad, a lot of people still haven't ever dated either." -_- Yeah, I don't want this pity-party, thank you very much.

"Somebody take the pain away..."

"It's like an ulcer bleeding in my brain." -Green Day, "Restless Heart Syndrome"

Today I took a couple hundred bucks (which was basically all of the money from my paychecks thus far) out of my "new laptop" fund.

Today I spent those couple hundred bucks on textbooks for both me and Mika.

Today I spent close to fifty bucks on new pairs of pants I needed for work.

Today I was pissed to find out that my mom had cleaned out my bank account, using the money for...hell if I know. She never tells me when she takes money out. Never. So I was gobsmacked when I found out I have ZERO DOLLARS in my account.

But today, I was happy for ninety-two minutes while I sat through X Games 3D: The Movie. I was so fucking stoked to be watching it. There was only me, Mika, and this one boy who was in the movie theatre. It was great, having the whole place (practically) to myself. And the movie documentary was good. I'm planning on buying it, of course.

Then today, when I got home from the movie, my mom had to bring up the money situation. Again. All I wanted to do was bask in the aftermath of seeing the X Games movie, take a bath, eat some dinner, and get to bed early. But of course, like always, she had to completely spoil my good mood by bringing up money and HER child support money. Yes, HER money. Because according to my mom my dad never should've given me the money since it should be going toward helping her pay for the bills and food and expenses and blah blah blah. Even when I was in Oregon, my mom still said it should've been given to her. Apparently I got "too comfortable receiving the child support money while I was at Linfield." But heaven forbid my mom work for her own money! No, she just takes everyone else's.

You know what? I don't even wanna fucking go into it. I'm just. I'm. beyond tired of this bullshit with my mom. But I can't do a fucking thing about it. I'm not working full time, I have money to live on my own, I have nowhere else to go. I can't even go driving off somewhere. Like I said before, it's like I'm trapped someplace. And even if I go walking up to the park for a few hours (which I've done several times after we get in a fight about money and my living situation) she flips a bitch about how I just leave and storm off, and if I wanna be by myself so much then I should just find my own place to live! She bitches at me as if she's never done anything like that before. FUCK. My mom ran away from home so many fucking times, spending nights sleeping at the beach or where the fuck ever. She's such an ass.

But you know what the fucked up thing is? I went to take a bath, and I look at myself in the mirror. Then i start to cry. Just like that! Yeah, I was already pissed and my mom went through her usual routine of bringing things up that usually make me cry. But this time I was crying more so because no matter what, I'm always going to look like my mom. I have her face and I fucking hate it.

God. All I wanted to do was go watch clips of the movie again on the X Games Facebook page. Fuck this shit, man. Fuck this.

Happy Golden Anniversary, Hawai`i

50 years ago today, on August 21, 1959, Hawai`i became the 50th state of America. In all honesty, I'm glad that Hawai`i became a state. If we didn't, then fuck, we'd be royally screwed; in more ways than one. Sometimes I don't understand what the activists are arguing about. I understand their problems, most of them, because I agree with them on several issues concerning our soverignty and whatnot. They have valid points about the Hawaiian people and our culture. But in this modern day and age, being without the U.S. would mean a world of hurt for us. However, I don't appreciate the way that the overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy went in 1893, with the overthrow of Queen Lili`uokalani. The U.S. government, in short, were (and still are) dicks. They sent their soldiers and marines onto our shores and arrested Lili`uokalani in her own frickin home by the orders of John L. Stevens. See, it wasn't President Cleveland who ordered it, he actually filed the Blount Report days later saying that the overthrow was illegal. But the overthrow was followed through besides the fact, and so Sanford B. Dole ended up being the President of the Republic of Hawai`i. Dole was an asshole.

But all that aside, happy 50 years of statehood, Hawai`i. :)

Bustin' Down the Door: A documentary-movie about four dudes that changed the sport of surfing. It's quoted in the opening sequences that they "rerouted the railroads of surfing." It was the winter of 1975 and these guys from South Africa and Australia created a crew and literally redefined the culture of surfing. I don't know all that much about surfing, but shit, I'm really digging this movie. I wanted to go watch it when it was in the theatres, but I had no one to go with. So I finally bought it last week and I'm glad I did. I like these documentary-movies because you get the exposue of what life was like back then, with real footage and interviews from people that were part of that time, event, and actually got to experience it.

PLUS this movie is narrated by Edward Norton. EDWARD NORTON! Now, I don't know exactly why he's the narrator, but like I care? Nope, not really. He's the best. He said this one line that I really like: "If California's cruisy coast had given birth to the surf culture back in the 50's, the North Shore of the 70's is where it came of age." :)

And damn! Ed Norton does a pretty fucking amazing job at all the Hawaiian pronunciations! Haha, I was very impressed with him. I mean, some were pretty easy to say. But he's a haole and I doubt he took Hawaiian. Granted he probably had a coach or someone to help him, but I'm still really impressed with how he pronounced the Hawaiian names. Way to go, Ed Norton!

Work this week was interesting. On on day (Wednesday) I had to sit through a conversation between my coworker and her friend about my coworkers sex life with her boyfriend. I wanted to throw my shoe at them. I was texting Jamika about it while it was happening. Who the fuck wants to know about what you and your boyfriend do in bed, Heather? The answer: NO ONE. But they continued to talk, for a really long time. What the fuck ever.

Then last night, it was sooooo slow. I ended up writing in my notebook for a while, and Ka`ena took a nap for a little over half an hour. It's funny how sometimes there are just breaks when no one comes into the store. But then there are mass rushes of people all at once! And I HATE those times, because I'm talking about 10, 15 people all lined up at one time. It sucks balls.

So hopefully tomorrow I'm going to go watch THE X GAMES MOVIE!!!! It's also in 3-D. Haha. It's hokey, but I'm pretty sure the stunts are gonna be more badass when they're popping out of the screen right at your face. And this movie is only in theatres for one week, so I gotta go see it this weekend. I'm stoked!

Updates on the phone situation: Suspended Mika's phone. We're not being charged for the billing or anything, but if we want to get a replacement phone for her, we have to pay the retail price for the phone. Since I only got the new phones in February, I'm not eligible for any kind of discount on phones. SO. That's gonna have to wait because we still need to get Mika's new glasses. And to answer your question, Steven, Mika can't get her phone because A) I already have a family plan so it'd be easier to just keep her on my plan. And B) She has no money to get it herself. All her money goes to my mom.

School starts Monday and I'm not really back into the "school mode" which is strange. I think it'll be a tough transfer into that, having to deal with school and work. Ergh.

Things I miss from (my) elementary school days:

1. TETHERBALL - I fucking OWNED. I beat every boy in my grade. :)
2. HOME LUNCH - My mom made the best home lunches everrr. Sometimes I had tuna omlette, furikake rice, sausages, even steak! They were more like bento's than normal lunches.
3. CHINESE JUMP ROPE - Seriously. It was the shits.
4. PAPER FORTUNE TELLERS - Haha, they were so lame, but so cool at the time.
5. MASH! - We'd play this on bus rides to and from my choir performances. Good times.
6. CHOIR - I really loved singing. And I got to be the MC 6th grade. I reallyyyy miss choir.
7. ICE CAKES - If we had lunch duty, after school we could get ice cakes from Mrs. Yonting (my friend Kelsi's mom who was in charge of the cafeteria) and they were super good!
8. FUNDRAISING - My school did the candies, like how we had in middle school. I remember my dad would take it to work with him and sell a bunch!
9. AWARD ASSEMBLIES - Every year, I either got the Super Achiever of Oustanding Citizen award. And I always got a pencil for perfect attendance.
10. FUN FAIR!!! - The Fun Fair came in October, and each grade had a booth that they'd sell things at. My mom always made spam musubi's that would be sold out in less than an hour! We had tickets to pay for stuff, and sometimes when my mom was working at the booth, she'd give me more so I could buy more stuff. :]
11. THE BOYS - Mika had several classmates, boys, that were here friends (and friends with my mom! haha) and they'd come over to our house every single day after school. We'd play video games, play kickball in the streets and just hang out. But then once they went to middle school, they got to old to hang out with me...
12. LIGHT UP SHOES - Those were so pimp. More pimp than jelly shoes.
13. J.P.O./PEER MEDIATOR/STUDENT COUNCIL/LIBRARY HELPER/HELPING HANDS/GARDEN CHARMERS - I was involved in a shitload of clubs and organizations in middle school. I pretty much owned at student activities.
14. FRIENDS - I think about my elementary friends a lot. And I mean a lot. I guess sometimes IIdwell, in a way, but I guess i've always been the same and thought so highly of my friends and our friendships.
15. MY FAMILY (BACKTHEN) - When Ba-chan and Gi-chan were still here. When Mika and i were younger. When my dad wasn't so stressed. When my mom was my mom. When the love from my family was evident and in plain sight.

There's hundreds of more that I would write about, but it'd take too long. I bring this up because on my way to work, we drove by Waimalu Elementary School (my mom's first elementary school she went to) and there were the A+ kids playing jail break on the basketball court. I remembered how much i loved jail break, way more than dodgeball. for sure. :)

So Mika lost her phone about two weeks ago. She doesn't know exactly when or where. Because she sucks like that. And I checked my account online, and some douche bag found her phone, I'm guessing, and has been using it. Because our minutes has been going up, AND whatever fucker found it has been downloading shit onto the phone and now I have to pay for it. I fucking hate people sometimes.

I need to get her a new phone. We start school next week so she should have one. PLUS she finally got a job. But she didn't really "get" it. It sorta was just handed to her - through Steven. He's chummy with the manager of Orange Julius/Dairy Queen so he got her her job. She didn't have to fill out an application or have an interview, the manager-lady just said she was hired. It sucks, that's what I told her, because now my mom and Steven can use that against her, saying that Steven is the one that got her the job. I told her she should've just looked for one herself.

All right, now I know I just got my marvelous purple phone 6 months ago, but for the past 2 days I've been searching on eBay for cheap slider phones with the keyboard. I really wanna see if I'd like using them, so that maybe if I ever get a new phone, I'd consider buying one with a keyboard. Does that sound silly? I think it's smart. If I can find a cheap one, I can buy it and test it out before I make a commitment and buy it, you know?

Sidenote: If none of you have ever listened to the Aida soundtrack, LISTEN TO IT! I fucking love it. God, I wish so bad that I was in that show!

So when do all you Wildcats start school??

Oh, dudes. WATCH THIS. Stayceyann Chin is amazinggg! My friend Jamaica (who won the Young Poets competition 2 years in a row!) posted this.




So rad.

"Chewie."

If you've never seen the movie "Fanboys" before, WATCH IT!!! Go rent it or borrow it from someone that has it. It's hilarious! Mika told me about it years ago, but it finally was released last year. I bought it from Blockbuster and we watched it today with my dad. It's real funny. And the title quote is from the movie. They say "Chewie" when they call shotgun. Teehee.

Alessa: Ben has seen this movie, right? I mean, he's a Star Wars fan and all. If he hasn't, you guys should go rent it. It's amazing!!

All right, moving onto more serious matters...I've been feeling very anti lately. So anti that I didn't join my friends on the hike today.

Originally that was the plan for me and my drama friends for high school. But a bunch of them bailed out, so then I just invited whoever and there was about 6 or 7 of us that were going. But then last night I was thinking about it, and I didn't really feel like going anymore. Reasons:
1) I was concerned with how I would handle the hike, physically. I haven't been active since high school and I didn't want to hurt myself or strain myself. Plus, I heard the hike was very steep.
2) Today is my day with my dad. Usually it's Saturday's but he had to take over someone's shift at work, which is why I'm hanging with him today.
3) I'm just tired, plain and simple. This past week and this coming week has been/is gonna be super busy. And the following week school starts already. I don't have much time to rest and just relax before school begins.

So I didn't go. And you know what? I'm over it.

Also, Amanda somehow convinced me to go and change my work schedule for this coming week. So now I'll be working Thursday night then on Friday morning! I HATE working the morning shifts, especially if I'll be working the night before. I don't get home until after 10 and I have to eat dinner, take a bath, and wash my clothes when I get home. Which means I don't get to sleep until midnight, one o'clock. And I'd have to get up at 6:00 AM in order to be at work on time. So I'm a little pissed about that.

It's not that I don't wanna hang out with them Wednesday (the day I switched for Friday) because they're going to the waterpark. I haven't been there since 8th grade. But I mean, I know I'm going to be real tired Thursday/Friday. AAAAND Friday night I'm supposedly going to spend the night with friends, which means I won't get home until the early morning. I'm gonna be exhausted, I know it.

So I'm thinking of backing out of Wednesday's plan to go to the waterpark and just work that day like how I originally was going to. This sucks because this last week before school starts is so busy and I just wanna relax! Fuck.

Also, I have no money for books. And I don't know when I can get them. I hate that. HATE HATE HATE that.

And to top things off, Mika lost her phone about 2 weeks ago. School is starting, and tomorrow she starts training at her job. So she kinda needs one. I'm just like, fuck it all already. Fuck it.

One year ago today...

Sumner died.

I don't even know where to begin.

I've been staring at this stupid, extremely white screen for over twenty minutes, not knowing what to type. Fuck. I kinda feel like a jackass, wanting to post a blog online about my dead friend and how much I miss him and how it's unreal to think it's been a year since he died. I mean, normally you don't grieve online for the entire world to read, you know? But. But I can't talk to my family about it, and it seems just writing nonsense on the internet is the perfect way for me to get all this shit off my chest. No one has to read it, but at least i know I said it.

For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about Sumner a lot, knowing that his anniversary was coming up. I've been going to his Facebook page a lot, just reading what people have been writing. His family's going to shut down his page on Friday, his birthday. God, I can't help but think about his mom and dad, and how they must have been feeling. and his sister. I swear she and Sumner could've passed as twins. Last year at his service Linfield had, I made this for Sumner.


He had a display board that had lots of pictures of him, and I asked if I could put this up on the board. And they did. Then when I got to the service, I met his family, and his mom asked me if she could keep it. I'm glad they took it with them home to California.

I wrote several poems for him. I posted one on fictionpress.com just today. It's called Untitled because I honestly can't think of anything to call it. I just wrote it, not really sure what the final product was gonna be. It's kinda long, that's why I didn't post it here.


Yes, I am in deed sticking my middle finger at him. Only because I told him not to point at me in the picture! But of course he didn't listen. So very Sumner of him.

So, I've got a mixture of feelings about Sumner. I miss him as if he was part of my family. Which may be weird since I only knew him for one semester. But he really was one of those people that make you feel as if you've been friends for years. It doesn't help that I'm listening to a playlist of songs I made that reminds me of him. What is it with music, and how it just amps up your emotions?

I wonder what Sumner's doing. Ihen my grandpa died, and there'd be thunder, I'd think that he was up in Heaven or wherever and that he was bowling. And the thunder happened every time he got a strike. I actually still believe that. And Sumner...well, he's probably getting high and listening to rap music. :) Or he's teaching kids...something. Anything. Shit, he would've made a great teacher. And a great dad.

But i'm also so fucking pissed at him. He was so selfish. the next time I see him I might just punch him in the face. Then give him the biggest, tightest hug I've ever given and break down into tears and cry on his shoulder. Yeah, I'll probably do that.



Fuck. I miss you Sumner.

I caught the bus into town for Joseph Gordon-Levitt

AND IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!!

(500) Days of Summer was reallyyy good! I'm glad it finally came out in HI, although it's only at 3 theatres. So Amanda and I had to catch the bus down there, all the way into town! But I did it for Joe. Because I <3 Joe and I knew I wouldn't be disappointed in his movie. And I wasn't! It was funny, for the most part. And they didn't go too heavy on the romantic chick flick stuff, so it was tolerable. You definitely feel for Tom (Joe's character) throughout the movie. And his sister is super fun too, she might be my second favorite character in the movie. So go see it if you have the chance! I'm mos def gonna buy it when it comes out. :)

I hate it when you get sunburned (or is it sunburnt?) and it's red at first and it hurts. Then it starts to itch before it peels and I HATE it when it itches! Because when you scratch, or even rub, which is what I do, it hurts. A lot. It's so annoying. Ergh.

"I ain't sippin on a mixed drink, pinky out, lips pink / talkin to a rich skank filled up like a sperm bank / i'mma go where i always go, drinks are on the house / whiskey's on the rocks while your sister's on my mouth"

Even though they are so mainstream right now, I really like 3OH!3. That's my favorite verse from their song "Richman." They're coming to HI. I think they're having a signing or something at Hot Topic on September 29, and then they're having a concert on October 1. I really wanna go to both. Especially since I missed Boys Like Girls this past week.

Also. I want new purple sunglasses. I have the purple plaid ones I got as my Asshole sunglasses, but I want different ones that are just my own. So here are my choices:


all purple

purple and white

purple and black

purple and yellow. i have decided i need more color in my life, but i'm Asian, and i hear Asians shouldn't wear yellow? plus this is kinda Filipino. :P

purple and baby blue.

WHICH ONE(S) SHOULD I GET??

A ZAIDA PARTY!

That's what my friends and I had today. :)

It was a late birthday party for me. Originally, my friends were gonna surprise me with a hotel-sleepover party. But no one's schedule's coincided; that, and Kelsey and Chelsea kinda had to ruin the surprise by asking if I could sleepover on a certain weekend. So, oh well. But then it just seemed simpler (and more realistic, financially speaking) to have a picnic at the beach like we usually do.

It worked out perfectly, though. We usually have an annual picnic anyways, so this was a good way to get everyone together for a few hours. There was only 8 of us, because some other douche bags never got back to us about coming and others had excuses, blahblahblah.

Also, my drama friends were having a party about 30 feet away from us too! Hahaha, it was actually super funny. I got to our table and started unloading my stuff, and I saw this girl in a red sundress smiling and looking over at me. So I thought, "Who the fuck is looking at me!" Then I saw that it was my friend Nai`a and it was such a hilarious/good coincidence. They were having a going away party for this girl Jackie, she's going off to college on Saturday already. It wasn't planned at all for us to be there at the same time, let alone at the same exact spot out of the entire area of the beach and park! It was awesome.

I got a fedora. :P Don't know when I'll wear it though, but Ikaika got it for me, and he's always wearing fedora's, for real. All the time. So it makes sense he got one for me. It's also got a purple band around it, and it's Adidas. Then Matt made origami animals for me and made an origami box to put them in. I think it's way boss. He made me: an elephant, Pegasus, turtle, and a dinosaur!! It's super cool, I should take pictures or something and post them. Anyways, it was a good day. Although I'm red and I got burned, feck.

Work tomorrow. Normal hours: 2:30 - 9:30. Hopefully we won't be behind and we'll get everything done on time instead of on Monday. That was lame, we were behind, for some bizarre reason. But we had to rush at the end of the night to get everything done and cleaned.

WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON IN EVERYONE ELSE'S LIVES??

"It's just the way we feel"

This weekend has been a mixture of feelings.

X Games 15 was fantastic. There were some amazing runs and some of my favorites took gold in their events. But there were also some let downs; like Travis Pastrana's fall for MotoX Best Trick. He had this new trick he called the Toilet Paper Roll, and it's this inverted 360 spin, it's insane. And real dangerous - hence the reason why Travis Pastrana of all motocross riders would attempt it. But he had too much rotation and he had a gnarly crash and ended up pulling out of the comp. AND he had a rough run for Rally Car. Ergh, that one was so frustrating! But, nonetheless he's still one of my fave's, and at least he went some home with some hardware: silver medal for Rally Car. And here's some photos I snagged from the X Games fanpage on Facebook:


The skate and bmx Big Air and Megarail drop in. It's a 90' roll-in, with 2 different gap distances, then a 14' quarterpipe on the other side of the landing. what the SHIT.


Jake Brown going up the quarter pipe. He gets the most air out of everyone, going higher than the 20' mark on the Huck Tower (that giant cylinder).


Matt Rebaud and the Kiss of Death trick. He goes vertical while going over 100 mph in the frickin air!


Danny Way is THE man. He's on crutches in this shot, he got injured earlier in the week during practice. Then this guy goes and competes in Skate Megarail (that insane 90' roll-in picture, yeah that one) and takes GOLD! What the duck, right?



Switchfoot nose grind. P-Rod (Paul Rodriguez, Jr.) is the son of Paul Rodriguez, Sr. the comedian. P-Rod took gold in skate street, his third gold in this event. He's also a new dad; had a daughter, Heaven, with his wife, Rainbow. I kinda laughed when I found out his wife's name is Rainbow. *cough-hippie-parents-cough*


This kid is fucking amazing! NyJAH! Haha, that's how Sal emphasizes his name. 14-year-old Nyjah Huston took home silver this year, he made his debut at X Games last year. I call him Rasta. Just check out the length of his dreads! It's intense, just like his skating.


Scotty Cranmer takes gold in Bmx Park. Those are cool medals this year, can you see it? They make the letters L and A with your hands.


Here's a better picture of Lyn-Z Adams Hawkins with the medal. This year she got her three-peat gold medal in Skate Vert.

I wish I had friends that watched the X Games so I'd have someone to talk to about it. But, that's okay. I still enjoy it every year. :) And maybe seeing these pictures and reading my comments will inspire some of you to take up an interest? Huh, huh? Nah, just kidding.

Amanda's finally home. I just hope it's not a bittersweet return. You see, she called me before she got on her flight on Saturday and told me that her friend from her school is gonna be coming here to HI for 2 weeks to visit. And Amanda's only here for 3. Soooo, I'm figuring that Amanda is gonna wanna take her friend around, show her the "sites" and you know, go and DO stuff. And, well, I guess I just thought, "Amanda's finally home so we'll have the crew back together for a few weeks! Yes!!" And then I hear that her friend is coming, and you know, it's not the same when there's an addition that none of us know.

Plus, I am very territorial. And I only get 3 weeks with Amanda before she goes back to California. Her friend, Joellen, has spent two years of college with Amanda. Not to mention this whole summer they were together in California. So, I'm feeling territorial and selfish.

But then once I started listening to this song, my mood changed. Just a bit.



When I listen to this song (which I've been doing a lot, on repeat) I get that hyped up 80's feel, you know? I start to dance along with it like the way I dance and move around when I hear "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham. It's just that kind of song, and it's so rad. You guys should definitely get some music by Alphabeat if you don't already have any.

I just finished chapter 4 of Living the HI Life and it's basically 20 pages long! I didn't know it was that long, damn. Haha.

Meh. I should get to bed. I'm meeting Amanda early tomorrow to hang out, then we're gonna have lunch with TC. And I work tomorrow afternoon. Lovely. But it's only a 4-hour shift, which I thought was odd. Since I've been working 7-hour shifts for several weeks already. Ah well. Off to sleep. Or something. I don't fall asleep as fast anymore, so I just stare at the back of my eyelids for an obnoxiously long time. Doesn't that just piss you off? Wish I had a car, I'd go driving around and do shit. Or something. Anyways, I'm gone.

Title Song: "Fascination" by Alphabeat. (See how I brought this whole post full circle? :] Hehe.)