Taking things a day at a time

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Any Tuesday songs??

I don't think I can think of any songs with the word "Tuesday" in the title. I can think of ones with "Sunday," "Monday," Friday," and "Saturday." What about Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday?

I got the due day wrong for my self-portrait for my art class. I know that my teacher said it would be due on September 29, but for some reason, in my head, I thought that the 29th would be Thursday. SO. I didn't have it done when I went to class today. I kinda cheated, a little, by finishing it reallyreallyreally fast outside once class was over. Then I slipped it into the pile of papers in the back of the class as if it was there all along. It looked super shitty because I rushed it. But, whatev. I saw some other people's and it looked like a 9-year-old drew it. Seriously.

Thankful Tuesday
1. I'm thankful for the fact that Hawai`i is relatively far from Samoa. There was an earthquake near Samoa today, which meant that Hawai`i had a tsunami watch for about 7 hours. I think the tides increased by 3-5 feet, but luckily nothing too intense headed our way.

2. I'm thankful for my friend TC. He's basically the only friend that I get to see on a (somewhat) regular basis; whenever I'm working closing and he's working the same night. I look forward to closing because that's when he comes and hangs out with me until I leave. It's nice just to have a friend to catch up with and talk story with, considering that I don't really have that many friends I see anymore.

Asher Book.

He's in the new version of Fame that just came out last weekend. I find it INCREDIBLY annoying when people talk to me about people/movies/songs/events/etc. that I have been raving about for a looooong time. And by long, I mean years. It happened with Jesse McCartney. I was his fan from back in 1998, which is well over 10 devoted years of my life, that's half my life man! Then all of a sudden when his solo album came out and he was on Summerland, everyone else was all, "Ooooh, Jesse McCartney!!" No. NO! I am a true fan goddamnit.

Same thing with Ryan Sheckler. Girls only liked him once his show on MTV came out. But I've been following him and his skating career for years! Ugh. Anyways, my point is that, once again, someone that I have been into and liked for a while suddenly becomes more popular and now everyone is going crazy over him.

It's also kinda like how I've been rockin the flannel shirts since ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Yeah, that's what's up. None of this hipster/scene kid shit. No, none of that. But now it's "totally in" and I see it everywhere. Ergh, whatEV.

Aaanyways, moving on. I completely loathe not having enough space on my laptop. Because of it, I have to keep deleting music and videos and pictures from my computer. Also, I haven't been able to update my itunes, so I haven't been able to even get some of the free videos because it's required that I have the latest version for the download to work. I need more space!! And I know I have the external hard drive, but that would mean it always has to be hooked up to my laptop if I store things on it that I wanna use, like music. But there isn't enough space on my counter where my laptop is situated, and I don't have a free usb port to plug it in. >_< Well, I guess I need to wait until I can buy a new laptop. Pssh, whenever that'll be...


Song of the day: "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Take advantage of things more often

Today Jamika called me while she was at the cast party for Too Much Light. I think she said they were at Big C's house, I've never been there so I can't visualize the place. They passed the phone around to some people (Sunders, Bailey-Bailey, Jessica Learn, Bailey, Nick, and Chris - the new freshmen who I don't know, but he sounded/seems pretty cool) and it reminded me of when she called me last semester at the other cast party.

Well the point is that I feel like I should've gone to more of the cast parties while I was at Linfield. I think I missed the first three. Yeah, the one for Too Much Light, Learned Ladies, and Crave. Wait, was there in fact one for Bleacher Bums? Hmm, come to think of it I don't really remember going to that one either. Can anyone testify to that?? Aaaanyways, I just wish I went to more, because then I probably wouldn't have felt somewhat out-of-the-loop with the people in theatre.

Onto other things...

There was a small open window today in which my writer's block went away!! I got some material down for a possible poem that I think I'm just gonna have to run with at this point in time. I'll work on it some more, then I'll post it, or send it to you guys to get some feedback on it before I start memorizing it for the slam.

Oh, and I actually have 2 weeks until the slam. I was totally skipping an entire week, so I kinda feel silly about that.

AMAZING RACE!!! The premier tonight was all right. I really enjoy Flight Time and Big Easy, two Harlem Globetrotters. :) It's hilarious to watch these two, giant black guys, running around Asia. Being on The Amazing Race with my friend Amanda is still #1 on my 100 Things To Do Before I Die list. Haha, let's see if that actually happens.

Sing Me A Song Sunday:
"My Girl" by The Temptations.
I think every girl would like to have a girl sing this song to them. I think, in middle school, when I wrote really cheesy fanfiction, I had a guy sing this song to a girl in the story. :P Ahahaha, so corny, but, I actually wrote that, I admit it. Anywho, it's just a nice, simple, sweet song. :) One of my favorite Temptation songs.

At my work meeting today, we basically got told that there's gonna be a lot of changes with our store and that if we don't "shape up" then the tapes are going to be sent down to the big boss and he'll watch everything that goes on in our store. Also our sales are super low, less than half of what it's suppose to be at the end of the day. Christie (our temporary manager) basically told us to lie about sales to get people to buy more. That makes sense, as an employee of this business, but I'm just thinking if I was in the shoes of the customer. I wouldn't wanna be charged more than I should. There were other important things I should've remembered about the meeting but I was distracted because Heather, Kaena, Tiff, and Chandal kept talking! More so Heather and Kaena. I can't stand working with Heather. Fuck.

I just really don't wanna get fired. I think I might start looking online again for job openings on craigslist or something.

Song of the day: "What I've Been Looking For" from the Original High School Musical Cast (stage show) Yes, I still have all the HSM songs from the show we did on my itunes. Those songs are way better than the ones in the movie.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Dun nun nun nun, dun nun nun nun, BATMAN!!!

I got a watch from Target yesterday, but not just any kind of watch, a BATMAN watch!! It's actually a watch for little kids, so it barely fits on my wrist. I have to hook it into the last hole. Haha. But it's pimp! I'm also wearing my Batman shirt today. Chyeah!

Break legs tonight!!! Yay Jamika and Steven!! (and not Philip because no one told me that he dropped out of the show!! :( Bum deals.)

Trivia Thursday:
1. Jimi Hendrix (born Johnny Allen Hendrix, also known as James Marshall Hendrix) was born in Seattle, Washington. He served one year in the army, assigned to the 101st Airborne Division, but was requested to be discharged by his commanding officers because he was a "sub-par soldier." He also died by choking and/or drowning (depending on what story you go with) on his own vomit. Way to go, Jimmy.

2. An alligator can go through over 3,000 teeth in a lifetime. Isn't that ridiculous?!

Journey is having a small concert here this weekend, at Pipeline, a small little venue in the ghettos of downtown. BUT I already saw them in March. :) And they were awesome.

I've been watching some poetry slam videos on youtube. Of course, I've been watching some of Jamaica, who is a friend from high school that was on the national Youth Speaks Hawai`i team that won. But I also really like this kid, B.Yung. Just watch this one video of him. This is called "Change."

It's really powerful, and you can tell how passionate he is. This comes from inside him.

"Hey, why you keep screaming at the top of your head?" I like that song "Scream" by Chris Cornell. Good jam.

Song of the day: "Love Has Taken Its Toll" by Foreigner

Sunday, September 20, 2009

And the Emmy goes to...

Yay Emmy Awards!!

Song of the day: "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac

Here are the pictures of my painted walls. I finished painting all of them last Wednesday, but haven't put the pictures up, for some odd reason or another.

My room has a bathroom. But I don't use it. The plumbing is old and everything needs to be replaced. So I think it's kinda a waste, you know? But hopefully, eventually, it'll be fixed up. And I FINALLY painted the first quote onto my wall. It's also the main quote, so even if I don't get to painting on anything else, I'm happy with this one. It took me well over 6 hours to do this. Granted I took 2 eating breaks, and had to stop after every section because my legs were dying from standing up on that ladder for so long. I had to soak my feet after. But it was worth it.

"The goal isn't to live forever. It's to create something that will."

Yes, it's crooked, I noticed that. But I don't give a fuck because it's still way cooler than any other wall.

BRYAN: I say go see 9 if you can. It's pretty weird, and sometimes (a lot of times) I caught myself saying, "Too far, Shane Acker. Too far." And at the end of it you can blame Germany for the end of the world. :) Always a bonus. And yes, having a library in your house would be fantastic! It's just one of those things that you dream about, and spending daysss in there. Just reading. Ahhhh, that would be so nice.

I didn't have any homework this weekend. Not a single assignment that I had to think about, and I feel like when I go to class tomorrow, kumu is gonna tell us to take out our ha`awina and I'm gonna sit there like a dumbass or something. Haha, no that probably won't happen. But that's always what I worry about when I don't have homework to do over a weekend. BUT we did have a test on Thursday, so that's why we didn't have any homework.

I just switched from the Emmy's to ABDC to see what two teams are battling it out this wee. What the FUCK America?! Why the shit are people still voting for Afroborike?!!!! God, I absolutely can't stand that stupidass crew. There's really no point in watching that show anymore since Rhythm City got kicked off last week. Dude, America's got it all wrong.

Anyways. I'm so stoked John Cryer won for best male comedy actor!! I <3 that guy so much. And when the hell did Walter Cronkite die?! :( Aww man. Apparently he died in July but...I didn't know? Shame on me. It's always really sad to see the tribute montage of the people that passed away during the year. Super sad.

Sing Me A Song Sunday:
"The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson.
Not only is this one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs, but it's one of the songs in the entire world that I can never get tired of hearing. It's a classic boy-chasing-girl songs, but damn, it's so catchy and up beat. Yeah, I'd want someone to sing this to me, and it'll play out just like a music video - not necessarily like Michael's, because I don't think I'd wanna be a hooker on the corner of an alley.

Do you guys think it's strange that I still plan out what I'm going to wear the night before? I've been doing that since elementary school. My mom would always make us take out the clothes we wanted to wear and have them on our dresser when we were going to sleep. I did that all through high school even though I had uniforms. And I kinda did that at Linfield too. And I do that now. :P I'm a dork. Haha.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

"The world isn't black and white. It's gray."

Song of the day: "One on One" by Natural Vibrations

Title quote from the second episode of Freaks and Geeks. Dudes, that show was GENIUS!!! I fucking love that show so much, and I hate how they canceled. So uncalled for, it was so good. I need to buy that, for cereal.

9 was one straaaaange movie. I mean, damn! Damn. I'm glad that there weren't a lot of kids in the same theatre that we were in, I would've questioned their parents about their decision of letting their kid watch that movie. I didn't quite get the story while I was watching it, but after I talked it over with Mika and it makes more sense now. I did like the animation, that was really good.

Dad said that Band Camp Seven (seven? I think) is next month or something. I think only The Fray and Panic! At The Disco are performing, but I'm not 100% sure if it's just those two. I remember when Amanda and I went the summer we graduated, there was Madina Lake, Yellowcard, Plain White Ts and Matisyahu. We left during Matisyahu though. Too many drunk military people were swarming the place. And these two random dudes that came up to us. Well, Amanda, because I'm sure they were there to talk to her. ANYWAYS. I'd go to see Panic more so than The Fray. I'm not really a Fray fan.

Since it's a Saturday, I am now bringing to you guys Storytime Saturday. I guess I'll be talking about a bedtime story, fairy tale, or a kind of folklore I remember from when I was younger. Eventually I will run out of stories, so maybe I'll just talk about books I read during school or something, or good books that I've read. Whatever, I'll think of something when that time comes.

Storytime Saturday:
If You Give A Mouse A Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff

This was my ultimate favorite book for YEARS when I was younger. I borrowed this book so many times from the library, they should've just given it to me already. I think it was funny how mom finally bought me the book from Borders when I was starting to lose interest...well not really "lose" interest, but I just wasn't reading it as much.

I thought this was the coolest, funniest book ever. I mean, what really would happen if you were to give a mouse a cookie, you know? And all the other things that would happen after the one before it, I just thought it was a fun book. I kinda wanna buy this book again. :)

Don't you ever wanna do that? Go finding old childhood books that you used to love to read? Start a collection of them. Of fairy tales, bedtime stories, things you would borrow from your elementary school, things like that. Then reread them and relive the memories and just the happy times. And then, if you were to have kids of your own, you could read those books to them. It's a nice thought.

I actually wanted to start doing that with old school copies of fairy tales. Like in those oooold leather-bound books, the hardcovers, you know? I wanted to get one I saw of Little Red Riding Hood for Mika when I was in Oregon. But it was about $40 or something like that, and I didn't have that kind of money on me at that time. But that's something I kinda fantasize about doing: having a giant room filled with bookcases of classic books and novels.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll actually do some stenciling. I've been done with my walls since Wednesday and I still haven't started stenciling on my quotes. It's just been so ridiculously hot lately, so I don't really wanna be in my room during the day. Hmm, I'll either try that, or maybe try writing more for this poetry slam. I seriously need something within the week.

I need to get inspired...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"You're the direction I follow to get home"

Song of the day: "The Star Spangled Banner/4th of July Reprise" by Boston

GOOD NEWS! I finished painting my walls in my room!! :) I'm very happy about this. Although I was getting so frustrated towards the end, and it ended up being super shitty. I wasn't really caring if the purple got on the white trims anymore because I was tired and it was super hot in my room. So I just said fuck it, and finished it as fast as I could.

However...HOWEVER! Now I need to buy the stencils to paint on the quotes onto my walls. I figure I can only paint quotes onto my two walls with the wood panels. Because the tials were super hard to paint over because of the texture. So those walls won't have any quotes on them, but I'll probably just put posters or pictures up on those walls I guess.

Wishful Wednesday:
1. I wish there was some kind of machine to paint on stencil words onto my walls for me. That is going to be so tedious to do by myself, sitting at the top of a ladder, arching my neck up, with an aching arm. Ergh.
2. I wish I had my license and a car.
3. I wish I didn't have writer's block right now.
4. I wish that I wasn't scheduled to work on Friday.

On Monday Jocelyn (former Linfield student) and I went to UH to see Brenden (also former Linfield student). And while there I saw a handful of classmates from high school. I hung out with my friend Ua for a little which was nice. And I saw a couple drama friends, also nice. I kinda realized while actually there on the UH Manoa campus, that it's a lot bigger than I thought it was. For some reason I didn't think it was that big, but it is. It may be because I've only been to the theatre there, so I was only exposed to a small area of the campus, but still. It kinda turns me off of wanting to go there. It's pretty far from my house which would mean one long ass bus ride, plus it costs a lot. And the campus is big. Granted, it does have my major. I dunno, there's always so many pros and cons to thing.

Tonight's episode of Glee was good. :) Mercedes fucking OWNSSSS. I just downloaded her version of "Bust Your Windows" from iTunes. And I rarely buy things from iTunes, unless I absolutely can't find it somewhere else. But I wanted this song, because Amber Riley is amazing. But seriously, how could she not know that Kurt is gay?

Whoa whoa whoa. I just looked up on imdb to make sure that her name was Amber Riley. Then I saw the name of the boy who plays Artie, and I thought, "That name looks familiar." So I clicked on his page, and Kevin McHale is one of the members of NLT?! What the shit?

This guy...

is this guy??

I mean, now I see it. But, damn. Geez. I guess it's like Christopher Gorham who plays Henry on Ugly Betty. When I saw a picture of him as just him, not as his character, I kinda freaked out for a moment.

I have my Hawaiian test I need to be studying for. Also, I have to finish my art to hand in my sketchbook tomorrow. *sigh*

Title song: "Six Months" by Hey Monday. My favorite line of the entire song. :)

Friday, September 11, 2009

A day out and about :)

Song of the day: "This Is My Life" by Fefe Dobson

Going out with Tiana today to Mac 24-7 was fun. It was the first time that I got out of the house for something other than school or work in weeks. The pancakes were huge! 14 inches wide dudes. Check it out.

With bananas and chocolate. Yummmm. :] We only got through half of it though. I each only had a quarter, but Tiana also got a sumo saimin, so she had a lot to eat. I was getting tired after my first plate. :P And as you guys know, I eat frickin slow. So, that didn't help. But it was just intense to have this sitting in front of me. Oh, and I also got a side of bacon, like the guy from Man Vs. Food did when he took on this on his show.

And since I'm on the topic of circular scrumptious treats...I made Tiana a giant cookie last night when I was at work. It was her birthday last weekend and I missed her party. So to make up for it (and also for not getting/making her a gift since I'm short on money, duh) I made her this:

It says "You Rock Tiana" if you can't read it, and I also tried to make the rocker hand with the frosting. :P I think it came out pretty nice. It's 2.5 lbs of chocolate chip cookie dough. Delicious. ^_^ I think it's about the same size of the pancakes we had today, if not a little bigger.

Oh, and Tiana totally peer pressured me into getting this sweet teal/grey plaid Hurley jacket from PacSun today. I didn't need, don't need it, and it cost me $40. $40 which I should've saved for something, like paying Linfield back, something important like that. But I figured (after she convinced me to get it), "fuck it, I never get anything like this for myself. Ever." So I just bought it. And I wonder if my mom wondered what I bought when I came home and she saw me carrying the big brown, PacSun bag...me wonders.


Epic fail. *sigh* They were even at the same mall that I work at! Fuck. They had a signing at Razor Concepts, but I knew that there'd be choke people trying to meet them, so I didn't even bring it up Tiana, because I doubt we would've made it to them before they would shoo everybody away. My friend Tarina is a UH Rainbow Dancer, and they helped out at the signing. So she got to meet them, for the SECOND time. So I guess she wasn't "meeting" them. The first time was when they visited her dance company. Lucky ho bag. :P

Unfortunately, being out most of the day didn't allow me to paint my room today. :( I got up about 10, and left after 11, then didn't get home until 5:45. And tomorrow I'm out all day with my dad, probably going to a movie; hopefully Inglorious Basterds because we still haven't seen that yet. And I guess I could do my homework tomorrow, so that I can spend most of the SunDAY painting, because it takes a freakishly long time for the room to air out. The smell sticks around for at least 2 days. Which is uber shitty, but, oh well, it's gotta be done. I'm not settling with some ghetto, half painted purple room. Haha.

So I already had done Friday's theme, because I technically post this a little after midnight this morning. And because I'm tired, I'm not going to have any theme list thing for this entry, since this morning's one took care of that. Guess I'm off to bed. Laters.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Three fourteen inch pancakes!!

I am so exhausted today for some bizarre reason. It's not as if I did anything different or more strenuous. School and work, that's about it. But I can barely keep my eyes open while typing out this entry. But, knowing me, I'll probably continue and finish this.

Song of the day: "Addicted" by Simple Plan

My title comes from a menu choice at Mac 24-7's, located in Waikiki, HI. Apparently tomorrow I'm gonna go with my friend Tiana. The restaurant was featured on Man vs. Food, a show on the Travel Channel. I'd never watched it before, but when Tiana sent me a text about it, and how much she was now craving pancakes, I came home from work last night and was lucky enough to catch the rerun of that episode. I'm kinda excited to go tomorrow. I never go to Waikiki (for several reasons) but hopefully tomorrow will be fun. And the food will be good.

I'd be so awful at any kind of eating contest. Mostly because I eat SOOOOO SLOW! Just ask anyone from Linfield. :P Yeah, I know, I was always the last one to finish, but I swear, everyone else just inhaled their food! That's probably why I get full faster, which is good? Maybe, I don't know.

And since I mentioned Linfield...Sunders text me to today and said that you guys have already collected money for my visit??? Is this true or is he just bullshitting me? He said close to around two hundred. And that just seems...unbelievable. I mean, is what he said legit??

Far Away Places Friday:

This week, I bring you to you Palau. Palau is located in the Pacific Ocean off the east coast of the Philippines. It's one of those remote "tropical" island places. And, it's not technically an island; it's a bunch of little, tiny blurps of land that make up the entirety of Palau. And just check out the water:


Oh, but before I go, I need to say that yesterday Sean-Joseph and I went to a poetry slam at LCC. Long story short: the slams weren't really good. I think one or two of them were decent. Not great, but decent. Mediocre. There were six poets, one was the MC, this Roxy-surfer-model-look-a-like-chick that didn't really count, then five dudes. DUDES! Not a single girl. I was upset about that. Then out of the six poems, one was about fishing/learning life lessons/growing up, one was about God, and the other four were about sex. I was super peeved about that. Me, Sean-Joseph and Pat were all annoyed that it was as if there weren't any other topics to write about other than sex.

SO. Sean-Joseph and I decided next month we are gonna perform and REPRESENT. Or at least I am, I've decided, I'm gonna slam for the first time. :) And I'll be kickass. I promise.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

"Do you remember when we used to dance"

"And incidence arose from circumstance.
One thing led to another
we were young"

Song of the day: "Heat of the Moment" by Asia (also title song)

Mom was civil today and took me to Home Depot to get paint for my room. It's a darkish lavender, but since I have wood panels as my wall, It comes out slightly darker. And you can kinda see the wood grain through the paint, so I might have to go over it with another coat. If I do have to do that, it means I'm gonna be buying a shitload of paint. I have high ceilings, so that means a lot of wall space. :/ And although I wanted to have the trims be brown (because I like the color combo purple/brown) I think white would make the room look "brighter." Which my room needs because it's the darkest room in the house. Meh.

I began painting my room when I got home, and I guess I have to sleep out in the living room tonight so that I don't breath in the paint toxins and all that. It's gonna suck, because Mika goes to sleep SUPER late, like three in the morning late. And I need to be up to go to work tomorrow. Ergh. Mika sleeps in the living room on the couch, just in case you didn't put the pieces together yourself. ;)

We also went to Target after because Mika has been asking to go there. Good thing we did because I ended up buying four movies. Zoolander, Catch Me If You Can, and a double-pack with both Bill & Ted movies, all for less than $20. :) I was also hoping to find nice, purple bedding, like sheets and stuff, but they didn't have any purple. Except for a reallyyyy pale purple, which was basically white with a tint of purple. No bueno.

I've actually found some online sites that have some things I'd consider getting. Even though they aren't purple, I'd consider purchasing these:

It's stars, and I'd prefer lightning bolts. But I like that it's splatter paint. I like that part of this particular set. Jamika, do you like this? I thought of you because you like stars.

Again, the splatter design is what's pulling me in. Plus, it's got a plaid pattern, and even though it's not purple, I'd still get this, because blue is also a nice color.

And this pillow is in the same set as the blue plaid/splatter design. I think I'd definitely get the pillow, at least. Because that can go with just about anything. I think. Well, I'd use it anyways.

Sing me a song Sunday:
1. "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz.
This is probably my favorite song my Mraz. This, and "Geek in the Pink" but I've grown to love this one more. I actually think I love it more because a certain someone sang this at a Cat Cab. Yes, I know, how very 8th-grade of me to like a song simply because a boy I liked sang this at one point in time. But, come on, he did a great cover of it!

2. "It Takes Two" by Zac Efron, Hairspray Soundtrack.
See, Disney should've rewritten the part for Troy for the first HSM. If they did, maybe I wouldn't hate it so much. Because I am a firm believer that if you're cast in a musical, especially as a main character with solos, YOU SING YOUR OWN DAMN PART! But, it's not Zac's fault, it's the douchebags at Disney. But I digress. It's such a good song, I'm kinda pissed they didn't play it in the movie. Well, technically they had about three seconds of it in the background, but that's it! And as much as I hate to admit it, Zac Efron sounds pretty damn sexy when he sings this. It's the saxophone that makes this song sexy, that's gotta be it.

Working tomorrow on a frickin holiday. Ugh, WHATEV! That means I gotta get my homework done tomorrow morning. I guess I should wake up early then. All right, .

Friday, September 4, 2009

Thank God I don't have school on Fridays

If I did, I would totally be burned out every single week. With school and my stupid work schedule, I would probably end up quitting the job. Which I can't afford to do, literally.

I'm really pissed off about work next week. I'm working FOUR days in a row for SEVEN hour shifts each day!!! No one else is working four days straight next week. Shit, some people are only working one or two days. I have to work on Labor Day which is really fucking annoying. And one night I even have to close by myself! I'm seriously pissed off about this.

Song of the day: "Child Stars on Your Television" from Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star Soundtrack

So today we went to the library so I could print stuff out on the computers. Things for my style board that I never got around to printing and random other pictures I wanna put up in my room. But the printer at the library doesn't have color ink. So. I have to go to Kinkos or something and print out my things. Such a hassle. (I don't have a working printer with ink at home, if you were wondering.)

Also, after we were on our way to Target. But then there was already traffic starting to build up. Today is the first UH football game, so the traffic around the stadium was crazy. So my mother decided we weren't going anymore because she didn't wanna be stuck in traffic. Which is why I'm back at home. And I think I basically wasted my entire day, since nothing productive happened and I didn't accomplish anything.

I decided not to eat lunch today. Instead I ate a slice of red velvet cake Mika got me a while ago, and the left over crumbs of the sour cream and cheddar chips. Those were actually mine, but this is the first time I'm eating it, because mother and Steven ate it all. Assholes.

I wish I had a drum set. Or darts (I have a dartboard but lost all the darts) or a punching bag. So I can take out all my aggression on that instead of eating. This is probably why I've gained so much more weight since I've been home. Because I just snack on food when I'm pissed. And I'm usually angry a lot.

Far Away Places Friday:


The Trevi Fountain looks sooooo nice at night. I also think that Italy is a way more romantic location than Paris. And I think Italian trumps French as a language too. Someday I want to go there. Pssh, in my dreams, right?

Alessa: I can't move in with my dad because he lives in an apartment, for one. A tiny apartment so there's no room for me. His girlfriend also lives with him too. He's also about 45 minutes away, and my school and job is right here in the same town as me. So it'd just be a hassle being so far away.

B-ry: Have you remembered what else you were gonna say in your comment? :P

Jamika and Steven: Congrats again on getting cast!! I think that this ice breaker should be real fun, considering everyone in your cast. I'm stoked for you guys.

Also, is this "Help Zaida Visit Linfield" fund really happening? Because I mean, I started really talking about it with Sunders the other night. And I was only half joking about it. But then, half not, you know? Because it would be way stellar if I could visit. And I hope Sunders doesn't think I meant that I'd want people to pay for my ENTIRE plane ticket, because that would be dick and I couldn't do that. But, you know, just thinking of the possibility of visiting is making me really happy. :)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Checkmate, Bitch

How can I win at a game when no one plays fair?
She is a cheater.
She is a liar.
She is a schemer.
And I am the dreamer, dreaming of a new life,
a better life, a life without the shackles of her control gripping at my wrists and ankles.

A stanza of a poem I wrote back in May. Guess who I'm talking about.

Song of the day:
"Drop Baby Drop" by Ka`au Crater Boys

Tonight and tomorrow night Kristine and I are closing by ourselves. We're the two new trainees, so it's kinda exciting, but at the same time, I'm hoping nothing happens and we can handle the shift. I still don't know how to work the gift card stuff, so hopefully if that happens, Kristine will know what to do.

I got a key for the gate on Monday. :) It's a bigass key! A lot bigger than normal keys, so when Cheryl gave it to me I was kinda caught off guard by it. And I also have to remember to take the slip of paper with the number for the fax that we have to send out each night to the main office downtown.

Wishes Wednesday:
1. I wish I was at Linfield going to school.
2. I wish I wasn't living at home with my mother.
3. I wish it wasn't so expensive to live here in Hawai`i.
4. I wish my mom didn't take my money.

If you couldn't tell, I'm back to my normal mother-hating self right now. In addition to the four hundred bucks my mom takes from me (the child support money) she also wants me to give her money from my paychecks. Because apparently jacking all eight hundred she gets between me and Mika ISN'T enough.

Fuck her.

So. Since I'm refusing to give her my paycheck, these things may happen in the very near future. And by near, I mean today or tomorrow:
-We lose the internet connection.
-We lose the cable.
-She stops driving me to school/work.
-I get kicked out of the house.

Her threats are always amusing. Take the driving me to school/work threat. Last night while she was bitching, she had the nerve to actually bring this up. I believe her exact words were, "You don't even give me money for gas! I'm the fucking chauffeur in this house!" And shit, I had to SERIOUSLY restrain myself from talking back to her. I wanted to tell her so bad that driving us around was the ONLY thing she's good for anymore. It's true. She doesn't work. She does nothing all day. She has no friends. She has no hobbies. She lives a rather pathetic life. So the least she could do is drive us to and from places.

ESPECIALLY since she refused to let me take drivers ed in high school. ESPECIALLY because she made me wait until I was 18 to get my fucking permit. ESPECIALLY because she doesn't take me out to practice driving. So, yes, she's right, she is the fucking chauffeur in this house, but that's only because she's made it that way. Because without another driver in the house, she knows that she'll be needed for that.

Now, the last one is my mother's favorite threat in the world. She says it all the time, to both me and Mika, but she has yet to seriously follow up on it. She can get as pissed off and bitch at us as much as she wants, but the truth is that she can't have either one of us move out. Because if we do, she's out four hundred dollars a month. And since she doesn't get off her lazy fucking ass to work, she'll really have no money to take from anyone. Then what would happen?

I would move...somewhere, possibly with my dad. And then I would laugh at my mother. I would laugh hard. :)